The number one New Year's resolutions are pretty much the same every year. People vow this will be the year they get skinny, stop smoking, and get their financial picture in a better place. Of course, since you're heard Uncle Bob tell you that he's quitting smoking for the last five puff filled years, your faith in the resolution might be fading. You certainly wouldn't be alone.

But what if you want it to work? What if you want to find out how to lose fat quickly or toss the butts for good? What if you commit to applying personal training to your workout to make it effective? What if you decide to take care of yourself and treat yourself once every other month to a medispa visit? How can you follow through on even the simplest of resolutions?

Yet many of us still struggle. We have made a special promise to ourselves, and we tend to feel a let down when we haven't achieved it in a short amount of time. Stop looking at how to change yourself. Try looking at how you can move toward becoming a better you rather than a different you.

Try to avoid coming up with your resolution at the party. Think about things ahead of time and create some possibilities in your mind. This can be private and personal. Write it down and keep it in a home office or setting that you will be able to access it quickly.

When you take the time to write down the things you want to move toward, you tend to move toward them much faster and without a sense of pressure. The written goals are fresh, and you get to look at them whenever you feel you need a little extra guidance in your life.

The tradition does not mandate that you drop your old habit and completely change to your resolution on the first of January. If you vowed to quit smoking that doesn't mean you have to wake up on New Year's Day as a nonsmoker. Take the time to develop the skills you need for reaching your goals.

There will not be a test that you can pass or fail next December. You can only determine how well you did over the year for yourself and then figure out if those goals need to stay on the list. This is much more concrete than trying to be someone or something you're not for about a month. After that you tend to drop the effort because it doesn't feel right. It's no wonder. You are really just looking to be yourself in the best possible way.